Monday, 21 November 2011

'Every time I saw one of her mindless posts about stupid cute animals it reminded me how shit she made me feel, so I decided to remove her from my friends list'
Surrogate daughter at work, was reminding me why my facebook is sparsely populated with family and friends
Her unsatisfactorily concluded  fling was there every day staring her in the face, having a happy life without her in it! It made me realise that these days our baggage follows us heavily around wherever we go and whatever we are doing in our lives .Only son recently split from his girlfriend of more than 7 years . From the outside at least, they had a serious considered and calm relationship,they had planned a future. For me (and her), the end came out of the blue.She fled back' home' , to another city that hadnt been home for more than three years, in sheer misery distress, and bewilderment. Yet here we all were , her  very recently ex , and his family still invading her space, all getting on with our lives and telling the world about how many jam sandwiches we had  that day, courtesy of facebook, tumblr and the rest.
 As if the world hadn't shifted heartrendingly  on its axis. 
She had to remove him from her friends list... 
 Was it easier in the past when a break up meant distance and lack of contact? It was a chance to regroup, lick your wounds and heal in privacy without anyone picking at your scabs with the published and public evidence of all the fun they are having accompanied by the pictures to prove it . Mind you , back in the day , you would have most likely only had any liaisons of any kind with a 'local' person. You would have had to be tough out on the front step/shop/dance hall/cafe , where you might encounter their mother, next door neighbour Uncle Tom and Aunty Brenda  et al. Still, folk in the flesh are generally more polite than their FB personas and you would be  unlikely to be shown a snapshot of ' our Luke snogging that trollop friend of yours, you know the one he left you for ....' so personal exchanges would probably be less fraught than the unintentional  insensitivity of a social networking site. 
I dunno what it all means
I do know that I will be keeping my friends list small, and in truth I only joined to spy on my children......

1 comment:

  1. Agree, how can we give our kids advice (mine are 11 and 14) if we never had to suffer the pressure of fb et al ourselves. I only use my fb account to to spy on my daughter - obvs, I am so over... over sharing.